Thursday, August 22, 2013

Pros and Cons of Husbandlessness

Since June 23, Ben has been in San Francisco doing an internship auditing for Deloitte.  It has been an awesome opportunity for him and he has fallen in love with the city.  Unfortunately, I had to stay in Hawaii to take some classes in order to graduate within the time allotted to me at this university.  So when all is said and done, we will have been apart for about two months, minus one week when my parents, little sister and I visited him over the 4th of July.  (We couldn’t leave Ben alone on his favorite holiday!)   We are happy to announce that Ben received an offer to work full time at Deloitte in San Francisco beginning Fall 2014 and we are extremely excited to start our new city lives there next year! So all this time apart, as difficult and sad as it has been, was totally worth it.  Ben comes home to me in one week and as you probably suspect, I cannot wait!  Over the past several weeks, I have learned some things about being without a spouse…

The Pros and Cons to being husbandless for two months:


No one to tell you that your outfit is too crazy (Note this is also in the cons list)
The toilet seat is NEVER left up.
He can’t judge you when you get a speeding ticket ‘cause he wasn’t there.
You can watch the Mindy Project and laugh your head off at stupid girly humor without being judged
You can have girls’ nights without feeling bad about kicking him out of the apartment for the night
You can watch chick flicks at any time
You can sing at the top of your lungs in the car, in the shower, while cleaning the house.  You can belt songs from musicals, you can pretend you are Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, or whoever else you so desire to sing like.  No one will get annoyed with you, laugh at you, or be embarrassed for you….except maybe your neighbors on the other side of the paper thin walls, or the person stopped at the same intersection as you who can see that you are rocking out to the radio…alone…
No one will care if you don’t have meals planned ever, and you make whatever weird concoction you come up with by staring at the fridge for a couple of seconds.  Let’s just say while I think I am coming up genius combinations of foods, Ben says, “Oh that sounds interesting.  I am glad you like it.” Which implies “no I would not like you to recreate that when I am home.”
No boy food (junk food/ice cream/cookies/etc.) in the house.
You can wear your retainer to bed and no one will laugh at your lisp!
I am getting a taste of what life might be like when Ben is working during the busy season at his accounting firm. Hello 80-hour weeks! (yikes, this shouldn’t really be on the pros list…)
I’m being reminded of how much I love and appreciate Ben and how incredibly blessed I am to have him in my life.  It’s not that I don’t already know these things, but being together all the time sometimes makes you forget how special the other person is, because they are part of your everyday life and you sometimes take that for granted.
Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder.


Can’t open jars with tight lids
No one to squash roaches and chase spiders
No one to cuddle with. (I use a pillow to remedy this.  It’s not as good as a warm human body, but hugging a pillow comes close enough given the circumstances and it helps me sleep.  At least the pillow doesn’t complain about how hot it is and tells you to get off.)
No one to tell you that your outfit is too crazy (Note, this is also in the pros list)
No one to bake for when you are craving sweets, but you don’t want to admit it, so you make it under the pretense that you are being nice and thoughtful for your spouse…yeah. No more of that…
You might make some dents in the car…really, really BAD unfixable dents…sorry Ben!!
No one is there to comfort you when you get a speeding ticket.
You get a speeding ticket, but usually you wouldn’t be driving, ‘cause usually the boy drives and he would have got the ticket, not you! (Or maybe as the more responsible driver, he wouldn’t be speeding in the first place? Maybe?)
Geez, I got into a lot of car trouble without Ben…
No one to adventure with.
No one to fix your bike for you. (Wow, I am really dependent on Ben.  Maybe I should learn how to do these things for myself!)
Going to the beach alone can be pretty boring.
Saturdays actually end up being really boring.
Sundays are even worse.
In-person conversations > phone conversations.  Neither of us have ever been fans of phone talking.  You’d think we would be used to it.  Most of our dating experience occurred over some kind of distance.  He lived in Salt Lake and I lived in Provo for over 9 months of our relationship, I went home for 2 summers and we were an 11 hour drive away from each other, and I lived in London for 2 months, while he was in Denver and Salt Lake.   But after almost 2 years of living under the same roof, I guess we kind of forgot what long distance relationships are like.   And now we are remembering that they suck.

Tips for any wives with husbands who might leave them for more than a week:

Never twist the cap to a jar too tight
Keep one of your spouses larger shoes handy for bug squashing.  I use Ben’s Clark ‘s boot that he left behind...  (Hopefully you aren’t reading this Ben…)
Make sure you have an extra pillow (to snuggle with).
Get your fill of chick flicks while you can! Don’t watch movies he would want to watch.  Use this chance to get in all the movies he is sure to say no to for your movie nights!
Try all those food experiments you’ve been dying to sample. Almond butter on yams for dinner? Yum. (yams are currently my favorite food…I can literally eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner.  This would probably not fly with Ben at home. Or at least he definitely would not jump on the yam bandwagon.)
Have girls' nights! As much as possible!
What an awesome opportunity to get super good grades without the distraction of your good looking significant other!
Talk on the phone everyday.
Look at pictures of you and him often.

Hopefully none of you married people ever have to separate for this long.  I cannot say that I recommend it.  Only one more week!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Catching Up

After almost a year break from blogging, I’ve decided to start it up again.  I used to be an English major and I was writing often, but when I changed my major to Math, I hardly ever write anymore. I kept a minor in English, which requires me to take one English class every semester.  So, I have at least been writing a little bit, but usually that means just one 10 page research paper at the end of the semester.  So in order to cultivate my writing skills, keeping a blog is just what I need.  I’m not really sure why I stopped blogging in the first place. 

Oh yea, I remember.  School took over my entire life.  And Ben’s too.  We hardly had time to eat, sleep, and exercise, let alone update a blog about our really exciting lives of stress and study!

But now, life is a lot more interesting.  I am almost done with my degree. I graduate in December.  Ben is currently finishing up an internship in San Francisco with an accounting firm.  I wasn’t able to join him, because I had to take some classes in Hawaii, but I did get to visit him for a week over the 4th of July.  (I couldn’t leave Ben alone on his favorite holiday! yes, Ben ranks Independence Day number 1, even over Christmas!) So for the past several weeks, I’ve been fending for myself in Hawaii! It’s not fun being away from your spouse, but of all the places I could have been left alone, Hawaii is the best I can think of.  I keep very busy with classes and work.  I am a math tutor, and I work in the Online department where I write quizzes and grade work for religion classes and I edit any writing assignments people send in.  I’ve also used this time away from Ben to focus on whipping myself into shape!  On a side note, I’ve only eaten out twice since I’ve been in Hawaii without him! I started going to a crossfit class offered at school twice a week, and yoga, running, swimming and surfing in between.  (There are some plusses to being one cares if you have yams with almond butter and coconut milk for dinner.  Don't judge, it's my favorite food right now!) So life has been good, and in 2 weeks it will get much better when my love comes back to me! Daily phone calls are nice, but it gets old after a while.  Also, the time difference is not our friend. 
So since it has been an entire year since I’ve blogged, here are some things we’ve been up to since last summer:
·      As mentioned before, we got through the toughest 2 semesters of our lives.  Last Fall, I began the real core of the math major.  I took 2 math classes that I wasn’t really prepared for.  In the Winter, I took the second half of those classes plus another.  2 and 3 classes doesn’t sound like much, but the material I was learning was insanely difficult and really made me wonder what I was doing in the math major.  I didn’t feel cut out for that type of work.  Now that it is over, I look back at how hard I worked to understand things that seemed impossible to understand.  I pulled through all of those classes with pretty awesome grades and even if I never use the material I learned in those classes, I have a better idea of what my work ethic looks like and more confidence that I can do anything I set my mind to. Now that those crazy classes are out of the way, I am actually really enjoying my math classes! NERD ALERT!!!
·      Lots of snorkeling, hiking, and surfing. 
·     I started to be very interested in eating paleo.  I haven’t been completely paleo for any significant period of time, but I enjoy using paleo recipes.  When I feel like I need a treat, I’ve made some bomb paleo cookies.  Ok so Ben probably wouldn’t like them, but he’s the kind of guy who is like, butter sugar and flour. Those are what make good desserts and you can’t make substitutions! I disagree…
·      Ben turned 25! And don’t you worry, I baked him all kinds of buttery, sugary, floury goodness. That night I think we fit over 20 people in our tiny apartment for cake and cookies in celebration.
·      We had an awesome Christmas break.  We had a couple days in California, and the rest of the time in Utah where we skied and snowboarded and had a really hard time being outside in weather at least 70 degrees colder than what we are used to! My parents and little sister came to snowboard at Canyons so it was really fun to meet up with them.  I hadn’t been in the snow with my family for years and years!
·      We had a memorable Valentines day…only because it was the worst ever.  I worked and studied for a test all day.  I had this evil teacher who thought it would be nice to make our tests pink to make up for the fact that she was giving it to us on V day.
·      I turned 22.  I had school all day, but Ben and I headed up to the North shore to watch the sunset at Pipeline and eat at one of our favorite spots, a little Thai spot called the Elephant Truck. It was low key and last minute, but really meaningful and perfect to be spending the evening with my favorite person on this incredible island.
·      Ben’s sister and husband Katie and Dave came to visit us for a week.  Dave surprised Katie with the trip the day they left!
·      My roommate from my freshman year and her husband came and visited us.
·      I took a really interesting class about the History of English and as my final project, I researched California and surf language.  I created a guide to Carpinteria (my hometown) Slang.  It was the most fun I’ve had on a school assignment. Ben likes to tease me because of my California accent.  He thinks it’s pretty thick.  I have my Valley girl momma to thank for that. This project allowed me to remember in great detail how my friends and I spoke in high school. And believe me, this memories are cringe worthy.   I mean, did we really say stuff like let’s skrut this grub, and what uppers? Rocka shaka, bra you know we did! (ick!)
·      We headed to the mainland for summer break to visit our families.  We spent the first few days in sunny San Diego and stayed with my sister and her husband.  Kelley works at lululemon and is a fitness fanatic (in a very good way! Not a crazy way!)  so she worked us! We spent our days there surfing, rock climbing, yoga-ing, pilates-ing, hiking, and of course eating delicious food in between! We had a super fun time with them.  We also visited Utah, where we went on horseback rides and hikes, ate at our old favorite restaurants, a little boating, and saw friends and family we hadn’t seen in a long time.
·      Ben started his internship at the end of June.
·      My parents and I drove to meet him for the fourth of July weekend, which we spend exploring Monterey, Big Sur, and Santa Cruz.  Northern California is so beautiful.  It has such breathtaking views of the coast, and such incredibly large and gorgeous trees.  I fell in love with it. My lil sis Mak met us in San Francisco for a few fun days in the city. 
·      I spent the rest of the break with my family in Summerland, playing with my adorable nephews, surfing with my dad and Mak, hanging out with my momma, and beginning the start of the 2 months long phone relationship with Ben.  Not fun.
·      I’ve been back in Hawaii for several weeks now, working, doing math, playing, and waiting for Ben to get his bum back to da aina!
Here are some photos from this last year

Makapu'u lighthouse on a rainy Sunday.

Merry Christmas!

Happy birthday to me

Island exploring


Hiking Crouching Lion above Kahana Bay

San Diego

I love this kid.

Beautiful Oakley

An Oakley tradition: take the tandem bike for a ride!

My little mermaid sister
Mak and Trev

He is the cutest!

The nephews!

Hiking in Big Sur


San Fran with my sistah!

My momma is beautiful.

One of my favorite places in SF


Home again.

I can't get over how beautiful my home is.  I mean this view is literally 2 minutes away! So BLESSED.

Thanks for reading!